I can’t take this anymore

I feel like I’m suffocating

I can’t breathe

My breath is at loss

I’m struggling

I want to come up for air

But how far up must I go

Im suffocating

I’m suffocating

In this pit of emotions

My stomach is turning

My head is rushing

My body is trembling still

This recovery sucks

How do I get out of here

Because honestly

I’m struggling

To take any good breath of air

I must breathe

I must push through

But these emotions

Seem to be draining all oxygen

That I keep stored

I’m drowning

Without any water in sight

And

It’s not food or air either

That’s keeping me

From breathing just right

It’s me

I can’t breathe

I need help

Someone bring me a oxygen mask

Stat

Because if not

I don’t know if tomorrow

I’ll wake up

Healthy mind

Equals a healthy body

shame just equals shame

you need to be happy

with who you are on the inside

& you must change your mindset

before you can change your exterior.

Be healthy internally

Equals to being healthy externally

being healthy isn’t being

super…

super…

super…skinny

Or being

Super…

Super…

Super…obese or large

it’s about being you

and being at a healthy weight

without the excess fat that you put on because of

YOUR MIND or OTHERS COMMENTS

With food and your body

Make yourself believe

In YOURSELF

that’s the first step to

BETTERING YOURSELF

That having healthy fats is okay

Gaining weight if you’re going to maintain it

And workout, healthy wise and not over do it

Then that’s perfectly okay

We want to live long for those we care about

And with living long means

taking care of ourselves

Choosing yourself today

will help lead you to a better tomorrow

And a brighter future

For endless journeys

And new beginnings

Chose self and love and life!

Ps. Those pesky scale numbers can be annoying but that doesn’t mean they’re a bad thing. If we’re bettering ourselves and it’s more than fat but muscle and food we’re taking in/on! Be proud of this and happy! Because you are bettering yourself and your journey and it’s beautiful!

I have emotions

And feelings too

I wanna cry

But I bottle it all up

Till I just can’t see anymore

Im about to explode

Get me out of here

I don’t think I’ll be able to handle these emotions much longer

Will somebody just hear me out

Even when I have nothing to say

Because if I’m left stranded any longer

I will find an escape

But who knows if it’ll be a good one

I need out

Find me a release

Because this girl right here

It’s about to break

So many things I’d like to say to you

But one thing I know for sure

I like you a lot

Some may even say love

It’s crazy

I know

But you make me feel

So complete

And safe

And yours

💕

I love you’re everything

From your head

To your toes

I love your dark hair

And that smile that glows

I love the way you hold me so dear

Like you never want to let me go

I’m special to you

And this I can tell

💗

Baby you’re special to me too

I love that twinkle you get in your eye

When you think of something great to share

When you try to tell a joke

But can’t stop from laughing

To tell it

💓

Baby I like you a lot

And I love you a lot

You’re a gem

A sparkle in my eye

I don’t think you even realize

💞

You’re so sincere

It’s so unreal

You make my heart

Flutter and squeal

So kiss me quick

Then kiss me slow

I don’t want this night to go

I wanna stay here with you

Till we can’t handle each other no more

💖

Are you in for the ride

Are you ready to go

Let’s go on this journey

And let’s see where we can go

It’s infinite I’m sure

But one thing I know for sure

We’ll never know

Until we take off

And let it take us

Wherever God surely shows ❣️

#littletoolate #loveyou #inmyhead #timeschange #missthis #personalpoetry

Anxiety anxiety

Its all around me

In me

And through me

I feel like it’s overcoming me

I’m overwhelmed and full of worry

What is this feeling

Where did it come from

Anxiety anxiety

Please leave me be

I don’t need this heaviness

Weighing upon me

I’m healthy

I’m fine

All is good around me

So anxiety can you please just let me be

**Feeling very anxious today, to a bad point. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable with this and express emotions that I’m dealing with in the now and not the past or something I’m overcoming but I’m so overwhelmed with anxiety today for no reason and it’s overcoming me it sure seems, I’m crying out. Release it from me Dear Lord! Release it gone.

#anxiety #anxious #helpme #overwhelmed #getmeout #lovelife #lovegod #originalpoetry #poems #personalpoetry #feelingtraped #allaround #noplacetogo

#overcomingeatingdisorders #recoveryprocess

I’m doing a self love challenge and my challenge for the day was to stare into my own soul!!!

😬😍😳🙄🤪🥰

If you went to a mirror to look at yourself right now, and told yourself the words you knew deep down that your soul needed to hear. What would those words be??

Maybe it’s I am worthy/enough

Or

I am beautiful

Or

it’s safe to open your heart again and be vulnerable

…

For me it’s…

Stop letting your opinion on things be waiver because of what someone else says. But to *Be strong in who you are and don’t waiver!!!*

😬

Boy was this a struggle telling myself that.

I am someone who cares so much what others think that I sometimes take it to much to heart and change my thought process to better make there day or b/c I think the way they said something sounds so much more logical or right that it must be better and change my opinion or something completely to what they think or said.

😕

I love words, words of affirmation is my love language and if I receive a word in a harsh way or sarcastic I tend to take it offensively and may get upset. So I try to change how I took what they said to how they may mean it but this then also changes with how I am and who I am. It’s a difficult battle.

🙄🤔

**The end of this year has just really shown me just how badly I do waiver and it’s something I’m trying to change to better myself and not let what anyone says about me define me but who I say I am and who I am in Christ be what defines me! Easier said than done but I’m working on it!

☺️

I’m planning on becoming more whole in myself, where I can take what others say not to heart as much and be me! The best me I can be! WITHOUT WAIVER!!! To realized that by not taking and soaking in every little thing people say won’t hurt me. I won’t be hurting anyone else. In the long run I’ll actually be helping myself! To be more present as me and my opinions and choices and words and way of living, not others.

✨

2019 will see me continuing to work through this, Grow as a person and become more strong within my self and choice and be the best me I can be! 2019 will see me prioritize things that encourage me and not tear me down or make me feel as though I must change myself to fit there life or commentary.

So I am be more present and not hold back with worrying on what others might think or say and worrying on how I’ll respond.

✨✨✨

I’d love to hear what your words would be — and if you’re brave enough to go to the mirror and tell yourself these words today!! 💓💗💞😘😍🥰

 #loved #lovelife #lovemyself #words #wordsofaffirmation #wordswordswords #dontwaiver #beautiful #worthy #enough #beyou #nowaiver #whole #healthymind #healthysoul

Binge eating is a form of ed too

So many try to overlook this

They suffer with

Self confidence

Self image

Self worth

Self love

Just as much as anorexia and bulimia

Little plate of nachos

I must work it off and exercise it away so i dont gain weight

Or

I need to keep eating and eating to hide this fact of struggling

No worries i’ll throw it up or use a form of laxatives to get it away

We must not shun binge eaters to the side

They struggle just as much as any other form

People love to say “oh they’re eating and they’re a bigger person,

no problem there”

It’s all in their head

They don’t have a problem

There just lazy

This couldn’t be more false

They struggle

They argue with themselves

They still have this little voice in their mind

Telling them its fine

It’s the norm, just continue and it’ll get better

They say they’ll change tomorrow or next week

Never in the now in the present

This is just the same as;

anorexia and bulimia

It’s not a easy fix

You can’t just cold turkey it

So be patient if you know someone who struggles

And don’t just put them off to the side

But be a friend and help them too

Just as much as you would with someone else

Struggling from bulimia or anorexia

-Show the Love to one another!

Everyone keeps bringing up my ED

Like it’s there story to tell

Yes I had a eating disorder

Yes this is the tattoo symbol

Yes I’m still recovering

So can you please stop with the words

And bringing it up

Making a joke about ED

or my journey in recovery

It’s not funny

It bothers me and

It’s my past and

this isn’t easy to deal with when

it’s constantly brought up

So that’s that

Let’s end it there

My journey is my journey

And I’m working through it, the best way that i can

#myed #myjourney #mystory #thatsme