Let’s be honest for a minute
Our bodies are the talk of the town
These days
As ladies
Everything matters
What are they wearing
What’s our hair like
Smell like
Makeup like
Everything we do matters
How much skin we showing or not
And lately for the past month
I haven’t been feeling well
And because of society
Guess where I went first
I ignored the fact I could be getting bigger
I had engraved in my mind
Models must be tiny
Models must be tall
Etc etc
It took over me
Since I’m at the stage of life I’m trying to pursue this
I couldn’t fathom that recovering from an eating disorder
Almost a year worth of freedom
Would mean I may gain some tum weight
No I thought I was pregnant
I was certain
Test after test
Then I get hung up on that
Upset
What is this
So to tell you some more information
I’ve been sick for about a month
And I have yet to figure out what it is
So scared to what it could be
A child was a easy thought
Even though there wasn’t really a way
So what I’m getting at
We live in a world that we feel like
We must blame our weight and things we do
On everything else but the obvious natural growth process
Because we want to be miss little perfection
But we are just the way we are
I’ve been trying to be something I’m not
For quite some time
Wearing what I thought men want to see
Restricting to not deal with my feelings truly
Instead of eating whatever I want whenever I want
And wearing whatever I want and makes me the most comfortable and beautiful
Like I am now
And let me just say it’s a process
It’s almost been a year
And I’m still trying to get the hang of it all
Especially the clothing part
It’s hard
No joke
But being your true self
Honestly is the most freeing
And most beautiful you could ever be
Then when you try to act like something your not
So yes I eat 3 meals for lunch some days and other days only snacks
But I’m listening to my body
And yes I’m wearing more flowy clothes
Bigger, gypsy, bohemian, Bell bottom type clothes
Because I’m listening to my comfortability and body
I may not get the same attention as others will
I may not have the biggest breast
The curvy body
The “classic girl” clothes
But at least I’m not faking it anymore
I’m being the authentic KY
flowy tops maybe even 3 sizes to big tops
It’s not the normal style now days
But it makes me feel the most safe
Freeing
And protected
And Id rather no longer be on guard on the daily
But be me and see who sticks around
So that’s been me lately
And this is me sharing my heart
I love y’all for taking the time to come to my page and get to stay toon
May your day be blessed!
Love sincerely Kylie jo
#realtalk #vunerable #mylife #myjourney #thisisme
This is me! 